Pornography for Women

Was slightly intrigued by the responses I got back from several comments I made about the "Twilight" movie (which sucked), so I decided to further investigate the phenomenon.  That's when I found an enlightening article on it by Laura Miller at Salon.com:

http://www.salon.com/books/review/2008/07/30/Twilight/index.html  

First, I have to admit that I rarely ever read fiction, and when I do, it's not likely to slant toward the childrens/young adult section of the library where the Harry Potter fanatics and strangers with candy dwell.  However, I am always fascinated by social trends, and I have been impressed by the followings of both the Potter series and Twilight.  Yet Miller is quick to caution against the zealous dilettantes trying to draw too many parallels between the two.

No wonder the media has heralded Twilight as the next Harry Potter and [BYU-enthusiast and super-conservative Mormon author Stephanie] Meyer as the second coming of J.K. [Rowling] The similarities, however, are largely commercial. It's hard to see how Twilight could ever approach Harry Potter as a cultural phenomenon for one simple reason: the series' fan base is almost exclusively female.

What is it, exactly, about this fairytale of bloodsucking fiends that makes girls want to throw their menstrual pads at Robert Pattison in salacious desire?  Miller eloquently explains in 2,800 words what I will patronizingly summarize in three: Chicks love attention.  Twilight is a four-part epic of a modest, unremarkable, awkward girl who fulfills every girl's three greatest fantasies:

1. Rescued and adored by Prince Charming, the most handsome and unattainable member of the highest aristocracy in the land.
2. Converted the Bad Boy into the most conservative of conservative, chivalrous, self-restrained, well-mannered, no-sex-before-marriage slave...er...gentleman.
3. And everybody sees.

This would usually be the part where I deride Twilight mercilessly, calling its obsessive fans naive idealists quickly being gassed to insanity in a high school prom queen fantasy.  Then Miller turns the table on me yet again.

Such are the tortured internal contradictions of romance, as nonsensical as its masculine counterpart, pornography, and every bit as habit forming. Search a little deeper on the Internet and you can find women readers both objecting to the antifeminist aspects of Twilight and admitting that they found the books irresistible.

Touché, Laura Miller.  You speak my language after all. Okay, I'll admit that not all academically struggling schoolgirls end up blowing their professors for A's (only most do) if you're willing to admit that the only real men who are cultured, stunningly attractive, and respectful to women are gay.  

But that doesn't mean we can't dream, baby.